I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
