Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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