I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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