I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
