Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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