Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
