I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
