Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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