Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
