John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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