I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
