i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
