I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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