if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
