My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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