pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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