I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Randomize