She said her name was "party"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
