therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
