I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
