Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
