i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
