Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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