you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
