yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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