What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
