it wasn't lemon gatorade
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
