But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
