I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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