I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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