i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
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I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
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You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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