ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
How external is "for external use only"?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
