Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I have demons in me.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
