Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
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We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
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Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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