If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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