anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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