By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?