did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.