I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
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i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT