Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.