Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch