I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
