I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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