I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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