i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
