and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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