guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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