My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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