she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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