The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
