okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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