what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
