If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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