hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
