I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
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