just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Randomize