sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
