Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
