i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
