Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize