Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
