Its about making memories worth repressing
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
