i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
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I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
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I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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