in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
